What is Couple Counselling?
I see my role as a couple therapist to help you to become ‘unstuck’ and free from old, restrictive pattern in your relationship. As a couple therapist I facilitate the following process.
To raise awareness of the non problem solving repetitive pattern your relationship
To disrupt this pattern and give you the opportunity to develop new behaviour that leads to positive, different outcomes and conflict
To outline and mobilise the strength in the relationship and how each partner contributes to that.
To develop and test strategies that remedy deficits.
To teach you how to communicate in a ‘non violent’ way with each other and how to listen to each other in new way’s and with empathy
To teach you how to communicate in a non judgemental and non blaming way and still express your feelings and needs
To raise awareness about different attachment styles and how this affects the kind of partner you unconsciously choose.
What is your attachment style?
Please find some of the major attachment styles described by Bartholomew and Horrowitz 1991:
What is your tendency?
It is easy for me to become emotional close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.
I am comfortable without close relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer to not depend on others or have others depend on me.
I am uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust other’s completely or to depend on them. I sometimes worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become close to others.
I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable to be without close relationships, but sometimes I worry that other’s don’t value me as much as I value them.
What are the most comon issues that couples bring up in therapy?
I offer couple counselling for the following most common issues and more:
Are you thinking of marriage or wanting to make a long- lasting commitment but not sure if this is the right thing to do? I can help you to find out in which ways you are compatible and how you can learn to become more compatible in the area’s you think you are not compatible. We will explore different areas of compatibilities such as values, priorities in live and likes or dislikes.
Have you decided to separate, but still need to negotiate childcare and other issues? Do you still have unresolved conflicts that hinder peaceful negotiation of childcare or other issues? I can help you to resolve the conflicts that hinder you to negotiate and teach you negotiation techniques that you can also use at home.
Counselling after an affair
Do you have an affair and have not told your partner? I facilitate a space where you feel save enough to share your hurts and concerns in an honest way with your partner. I help you to explore and discover what was missing in your relationship that might have contributed to the affair and how to restore the missing intimacy.
Counselling to refresh and strengthen your union and bond
Do you feel stuck in your relationship and everything has become a routine? Is your sex-life suffering because you feel you lost interest, or do you feel that boredom is creeping in? Have you stopped communicating or has your communication become superficial and meaningless? I can help you to re-lighten the spark that brought you together and restore intimacy in all areas of your relationship.
Psycho- Sexual Couple Counselling
Do you feel less or no sexual desire and do you also share less physical affection than you used to? Has something about your partner put you off sexually and you don’t know how to communicate this? Do you suffer from performance anxiety or feel like you have sexually failed? Do you talk about your sexual preferences and dislikes or have you stopped doing that? Do you feel dominated by your partner or do you feel you want to dominate your partner? I facilitate a process that fosters open and honest communication. By helping you to explore your problems and listening to your concerns I help you to understand how you’re emotional live and feelings to each other affect the degree of intimacy and sexual fulfilment you can achieve.